there’s so much pain inside.

I forgot to scream it out.

the time has come for me to fuck something up.

and every whisper I hear

from the mirrors I look into,

makes me scared of facing

my reality.

I utter the words,

but I can’t say them out loud.

I fail to crush my demons

every time I get beaten.

me and myself

don’t really get along,

I’ve tried to stay calm,

but the wolves are at my door.

and all I do is sink,

who will catch my fall?


aggressively flailing into the future,

I’m fluffing pillows just to lose sleep.

the less I say no, the more I succeed.

it’s so refreshing to dream without being asleep,

I don’t even care if I’m late, I want to start living now.

take the words they say and throw them out.

my mind has never really been a prison,

and my heart was never meant to break.



the dream had never been more real.
one night, just us, because no one else mattered.

the real life stayed outside,
there was no need to let it in.

we were king and queen of a world we didn’t create.
like gods we stared at the blue, trying to ignore the brown.

the luxury of not having to do anything felt strange,
the lack of hatred surreal.

honesty came so much easier
when we were living a lie.

if only,
if only we could have stayed.



A sunset doesn’t have to be an ending, it can be the beginning of something that the daylight could never give us.

For our most meaningful truths and our deepest fears only come out in the dark.

I can’t tell you why I sometimes feel like I’m losing you a little bit more with every step I take. Maybe I’m just afraid of letting go of my demons who have kept me company all this time.

I’d like to give you everything. I’d like to think that I’m good enough to make you happy.

I want you to see that there is more to me than the black clouds and self-pity.

I want you to know that I’m right here. I won’t give up, and I won’t run away.

And I don’t care about what other people might think, because I know that we’re on the right track.

Something Else

Magic is real. Not in the Harry Potter sense, but some moments feel like they’re from out of this world, as if something bigger than ourselves was trying to tell us Look! This is real too. 

I believe in this something else, you know. I believe that we are able to create something new, something revolutionary, if you will.

You’re not just a fantasy. You’re more than a dream I can’t forget. You are as real as the wire fences we climb.

I don’t know if you are scared of the things you want or if they are scared of you. And I don’t know what I can do to make it easier. What I do know, though, is that you’ll do what’s best for you. And no matter how things will turn out, I’ll be happy to have taken a risk.

Because you, too, make me feel the rain.


So, tell me, how does it feel to be you? Is it a good feeling? Are you happy with who you are? Can you look in the mirror and smile? Can you be friends with the reflection you see?

And if the answer to these questions isn’t yes, then what are you even still doing here?

It’s all a game to you, isn’t it? Life’s just one big playground and you feel like you get to design it. But that’s not it, you don’t get to choose what goes where. You pay someone to make you dreams become reality, but they always mess it up.

Don’t you feel like you could do more than just stand by?