Tell me how it feels to be with someone
So different from what you know.
How long can you accept the sensitivity and tears?
How long will it be
Until you start looking for a real man again?
I don’t want to be your unnecessary accessory,
I want to be the jewel that you won’t leave the house without.
We both like drama,
So let’s run away
And turn our lives upside down.
I’m riding shotgun,
You’re driving, singing along
We don’t know where we’re going,
But I don’t care.
As long as you’re there too,
Anywhere can be my paradise.
I know you can see straight into my mind.
And when you do, you should mostly see yourself,
Maybe a hint of self-pity, maybe a beer every now and then. Maybe you see me planning my next outfit because I’ve developed an unhealthy sense of fashion.
But above all, there’s you,
Sometimes a bit unclear, sometimes in meticulous detail,
But no matter what, it’s always you.
Forgive me for the things I’ve done, I can’t turn back time.
Forgive me for the words I’ve said, I can’t take them back.
Forgive me for who I am, I can’t change that.
Yes, I’m fucked up.
Yes, I’m crying on my way home. Again.
And yes, I’m invested, you know that I am.
I hate myself for being so weak. I hate myself for giving in.
I don’t know why I’m crying.
I’m alright, I’ll get home okay, thank you. That’s what I tell the strangers who hear me weep.
I’m ready to break down the walls I have built around myself.
I’m ready to give in, completely and without a doubt on my mind.
Jealousy was a friend of mine, not so long ago, now look at me.
I’m telling myself not to worry, and somehow it works.
I’m telling myself to just be patient, and time is on my side.
Sometimes I just want to shout at the world and tell it to go fuck itself.
Othertimes all I want is to be heard without actually saying anything.
I can deal with the pain but not with the rage that comes hand in hand with it.
I hate the aching feeling of having to break something, be it the wall or my hand on it.
I hate the way I hate everyone I love when I’m feeling like this.
I can’t stand the fact that I hurt people with my ways.
I don’t mind being the one who cares more, but I hate that I’m such a coward.