I never wanted to see you like this. An empty bottle of wine on the floor, the second one less than half full on a chair next to you like a friend listening to your sorrows. A knife in your hand, cutting away at your left forearm. Everything is red, dried out blood and puffy eyes greet me as I turn around the corner into our garden.

There are no words to speak, only tears to cry. Yours fall faster but mine are heavier. What are you supposed to do when your best friend is in so much pain that he reaches for a knife? I will always be there for you, please don’t hurt yourself just to feel something else.

I know you’re fucked up but I never thought it would come to this. The scars on your arms are scars on my heart. I share this pain with you, I always will. I’d kill myself to see you live.

The back of the hand hurts the most. My tears turn into maniacal laughter as I sit down beside you. It’s such a messed up situation, why shouldn’t we laugh? Neither of us knows what’s going on, we’ve never experienced anything like this. Our emotions are on a rollercoaster.

Two cigarettes are shimmering in the dark, the stars burn brightly above us as we take turns on the wine bottle. Orange city lights in the distance, crickets are playing their melody, accompanying our misery.

I never wanted to see you like this.

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