Please don’t read this.

Oh no, are you sad? Angry even? Well, what did you expect? Your perfect day had to end at some point. Oooh, ooh, it doesn’t aaalways work ouuut…

Shut up!

What? I know you like that song. What are you gonna do about it? You can’t shut me up.

I know, but she can.

Perhaps. She’s not doing it right now, though, is she? Otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I’m not afraid of her.

You should be. You know you should be.

Yeah. And maybe I am sometimes. But I’m not right now. She can’t help you. You’re under my full control, you sappy bastard.

Oh, fuck off, will you? I’m trying to handle this as well as I can.

I can see that. Let’s make it interesting then. Do you see that letterbox over there? All big and yellow. Staring at you like the pretentious piece of shit it is.

Yeah, so?

Punch it.


Punch it. Go on. Let out your frustration and feel sorry for yourself.

I’m not punching that letterbox. She’s gonna think I’m a fucking psychopath.

I know. You’ll be the center of attention. I know you love that feeling, you arrogant prick. Punch it!


Huh, you really did it. I’m proud of you.

Goddamnit! I just punched a letterbox right next to her like a maniac.

Fuck yeah you did. What are you gonna do about it, though? Go home and cry while jerking off? Probably. You’re such a loser.

Why? Why do you always do this?


Why do you have to ruin everything?

You seem to be forgetting something.

Oh yeah, what’s that?

I am you.

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