Today You Made Me Happy

“Today you made me happy” she said with a soft smile.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. It’s a nice change from all the chaos and emotional destruction that you usually bring to the table.” Her smile faded. She was staring into the emptiness in front of us. The last rays of the sun dimly illuminated her pale skin and her pure green eyes seemed to glisten in the dwindling light.

I straightened up and looked at her. Her beautiful red hair hung loosely over her shoulders. I smiled at the sight of her freckles and her childishly red nose. The cold January air made my eyes watery. Or maybe it were her words.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “For everything.”

She turned her head. Her mouth formed a painful grin.

“That’s all you have to say? I’m sorry? Come to think of it, that’s all you ever say. You fuck up at every chance you get, smile and say you’re sorry. I don’t even believe these words mean anything anymore.”

“Come on, don’t say that. You know I love you.”

“Yeah, I love you too. I just don’t know why anymore.”

Her words hurt as they always did. The two of us were trapped in this toxic relationship and we both knew that it would be best to end things. But we didn’t. Not because we didn’t want to but because it was more convenient to have someone around rather than being alone. In this ugly truth we wasted away our days being miserable and depressed. But what else were we going to do? Change? Fuck no.

4 thoughts on “Today You Made Me Happy

  1. This post has been on my mind for quite some time, and I always find myself coming back to it. Maybe because it resembles something of my current circumstance. Can I ask what inspired you to write something like this? It’s truly a beautiful piece

    Like

    1. Let me start by saying thank you! Your comment really means a lot to me.
      I think what most inspired me to write this piece was my last relationship. It wasn‘t as bad as the post might suggest but I like to exaggerate a bit. Another influence was a talk I recently had with a friend of mine about how hard it was to find someone in our modern world and how it was easier to just hold on to the things you have instead of changing. It‘s a subject that‘s been on my mind for some time now and I wanted to make a story out of it. I‘m not sure if this answers your question but I hope it does.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I really vibe with the emotions and definitely the idea of holding on regardless of how destructive it may be. I’m glad that I’m not the only person that often feels that way – I feel like it’s quite rewarding to find someone with a similar perspective. I hope that you write some pieces in the future that continue to focus on this perspective – I’ll be keeping an eye out.

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