Lonely Souls

Her shimmering eyes were lingering on our hands, each holding on tightly to the other one. They were forming an eternal bond between us that could never be broken. We were like two souls, slowly merging into one as time progressed. The room was dark, I couldn’t see a thing and I felt consumed by this moment of total oblivion. I felt like I was floating, as if the bed underneath me didn’t exist. The only sound I heard was that of her irregular breathing and the only thing I saw were the tears glistening in her eyes. The moonlight was dimly shining into our bedroom and it was reflected by the salty streams making their way down her face.
Why was she crying? I didn’t know. And I wasn’t going to ask.
Maybe she had just realized the ugly truth that none of this was real. It was just another meaningless hook-up between two friends. In the morning, we’d both be going our own ways again and wouldn’t be seeing each other for at least two weeks. Because that’s just what we did. We went about our lives for a few weeks until the self-loathing grew unbearable and alcohol just wasn’t remedy enough anymore. Then one of us would call the other and we would spend a night so hauntingly beautiful that it made us feel better about ourselves while at the same time making us realize how lonely our lives really were. Come save me, she would say. And I’d obey. Not that I was really saving her, I was just stepping on the breaks of her agony. And it was the same the other way around. We were like our very own soul therapy, both of us playing patient and doctor at the same time.
“What are we doing?” she asked suddenly. “Why do we do this every time? It doesn’t really help. And sometimes it even makes everything worse.” I could hear her voice cracking, she sniffed. I let out a sigh and grinned sentimentally into the darkness.
“I believe that we’re just two lonely people, trying to hate ourselves a little less by holding on to each other every now and then. Is that so bad? Fuck if I know what’s really good or bad for us. In the end, I guess we’d do anything if it helped us forget our pain for even just a minute” I replied. She was crying more noticeably now and I didn’t know what to do about it. So I just held her tightly, staring into the darkness of oblivion while our souls slowly separated again.

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